Full Review

Prologue

I've been a long time supporter of many lesser known developers. One of the brightest shining stars has been the quirky little developer known as Natsume. Their motto? "Serious Fun."

And, in the past, they've lived up to their motto with some mainstream RPGs like the Lufia series and some not so mainstream RPGs like Legend of the River King and Harvest Moon 64.

So, I thought it was strange to not see their motto as I booted up a copy of WWF: Road to Wrestlemania for the Gameboy Advance.

Shortly, though, I knew that Natsume did this intentionally.

This game is neither serious nor fun, but frustrating as on many levels.

So, let's get to the game, shall we?

Here I am, now entertain me.

The first thing you've got to notice is the roster of characters on the selection screen. Actually, I'll take that back, as the first thing you'll notice is that there isn't a menu or selection screen so much as digitized photo after digitized photo of your favorite WWE wrestlers.

The full roster is by no means impressive but mighty decent for a handheld. Weighing in at 23 characters, you've got a decent load of personas to choose from. Of course, with no selection menu other than "push right, push left," this can get tedious if you're looking to use a mid-card character.

The full list is as follows:

Stone Cold Steve Austin
The Rock
Chris Jericho (Y2J, baby!)
Triple H
The Undertaker
Kane
Kurt Angle
Chris Benoit
Edge
Christian
Rikishi
Billy Gunn
Bubba Ray Dudley (Get the tables!)
D-Von Dudley
Matt Hardy
Jeff Hardy
Farooq
Bradshaw
William Regal
Hardcore Holly
Tazz
Raven
X-Pac

Of course, this would be even more impressive if the characters had a more varied move set. Every character, with the exception of their finisher (and, in Chris Benoit's case, his suplex), has the exact same move set. So, suffice it to say that matches get really monotonous in a real short time.

Worse yet, not only do they all control the same but the do so badly, as this has some of the worst control found in a wrestling game. Regardless of if you input your move or not like the instructions, um, instruct, you're going to find yourself just struggling with your opponent only to break the tie-up. Grappling has a limited reach, also, so when you break up (and, unlike the song, breaking up is easy to do), there's a good chance that you'll have to walk through a kick (because there are no punches in the game unless you grapple first... weird) just to grapple again.

Honestly, I longed for the varied moves of a game like Pro Wrestling or Tag Team Wrestling on the old NES and that didn't have nearly as many buttons to use as this GBA game does.

As I ran to the corner in an attempt to climb the turnbuckle, I found myself actually damaging myself with an irish whip effect. As my character sat there in the corner, arms using the ropes for support, I feared for the worst.

But even more frustrating than the control is the game's artificial intelligence. You'll see old fashioned A.I. that follows you step for step in the ring, take a multitude of kicks in the stomach and, as I learned, stare at you blankly as you rest in the corner.

No vertical suplex from the top? No double underhook? Hell, I'd even kill to get a bronco buster from X-Pac right now, just to prove that this game wasn't badly programmed. But, it is.

Simply put, the A.I. is cheap and doesn't just follow you, it anticipates your move on the fly the way no human opponent could. You move up? He moves up. You move right? So does he. You shake the control pad in a circle, the computer makes the same awkward movement as you. Mind you, this is only when you and your opponent are close but without the fireball type moves of, say, Midway's Wrestlemania, this tends to be a problem, as 90 percent of the game is spent standing toe-to-toe with an opponent.

And, this problem quickly seques into my next problem... collision detection. You see, for some reason Natsume didn't program a buffer zone, something seriously needed when 2D graphics are using 3D space concepts. So, as you try to grapple with your opponent, you'll find that you have to nearly be standing on the exact same scanline to be successful, otherwise you just watch your character's hands go right through them. And God forbid you stand really close to the character, as you'll walk through them, again. I'd like to think that my wrestler is smart enough to put his left arm out just a bit further to tie up with an opponent. I mean, even an indy wrestler would know to turn a bit to grab the Undertaker by the scruff.

While I'm on the topic of poor collision detection, I might as well mention the graphics. The graphics, sadly, are the bright spot of the package. The sprites are detailed enough to make the characters recognizable, but still ugly enough to make you wonder if you accidentally woke up naked beside it on an all-night binge with your buds on graduation night.

Titantron entrances are done fairly well considering the limited memory medium, but I can't stress enough how ugly the moves look and how stiff these characters move. The reason I preferred WWF Wrestlemania 2000 on N64 more than any wrestling game since, other than the awesome battle engine, was because moves just flowed, almost naturally. Here, characters move like Rosie the Robot after she had a spoon shoved in her robotic backhatch rust out on her.

And lest us not forget the sound. You have faked, generic entrance themes, no announcers (understandable) and a load of stupid sounding "thwacks" when someone takes a kick to the stomach. The clear winner is the sound of an opponent hitting the mat. It reverberates perfectly and, if not for such a terrible overall package of the game, would be strong enough to immerse you into the game.

All in all, this may possibly be one of the worst wrestling games of all time. With very few options, very few moves, and very little going for it, I have to wonder if the game wasn't actually pushed out to production before gamers had a chance to test it and say, "Yep... it sucks."

You can't believe how much this let me down, but let's just say it's almost as much a letdown as Mortal Kombat: Mythologies was when it was released. It's the last episode of Seinfeld as far as games go. It's like being eight-years old and rushing into your parents bedroom the week before Christmas, thinking they were wrapping your presents, only to find them having sex. Dirty, dirty sex. While the dog watches.

Natsume, you really let me me down.


Epilogue

As far as wrestling games go, I'd be gorilla-pressed to give a nod to purchase this game. With the availability of the "better in every way but a license" Fire Pro Wrestling and Fire Pro Wrestling 2 available for Gameboy Advance, you'd have to love crack more than sidewalks and Alkaiser and the collective world's plumbers' butts to deem this game worth a purchase.